With it being July, in efforts towards personal freedom, and to maybe help us all identify and/or rectify some things...We begin a lecture series on Bi-polar Disorder, hereafter referred to as BPD. This month we begin with taking a look at MANIA! The things, that can trigger it, it's numerous effects, and a breakdown of what it actually looks like. Maybe some speculation about mediation and/or alleviation.

This is going to be SUPERIORLY fun because not only is this our personal wheel house, but there's WAAAAY too much on the topic(s) of mental health to ever be able to stop writing, so we COULD go all maniacal on this s#!t! (Lol) PLUS, mental health is also very highly speculative so it's all BUUUULLS#!T!!!
Again...Our wheelhouse!

We shall continue on in a singular, first person possessive narrative and speak solely about what's relative to me. Hopefully it can help and/or maybe generate discussion/introspection amongst households/individuals in need.

A sight, a sound, a smell, a memory, how much time you got? To an extent it depends on how you define the word, because everyone's SUCH an individual and experts in definitions and interpretations...(he said facetiously...)...but mania has an almost infinite number of triggers, because of it's beautifully speculative/relative/"applicative" nature! The biggest problem is, mania can often look a lot like someone "methed out" I imagine, because of the lack of sleep one gets, which sucks because I've never even seen the shit let alone partook, so let's get some things cleared up!

To me, mania looks a little something like this: (once triggered)

A relentless need to keep going. Whatever I'm into/focused on during that period, can't stop won't stop...not sleeping, maybe 2-3 hours/day after a binge crash; meaning the routine is straight f**ked during this time. Diet, probably hygiene, chores, dogs, you name it. STUCK!

Stuck in go mode, stuck in pissed off mode, stuck in talk to me and I'll eat your F**KING FACE mode; because my mania isn't always the fun "Doc Brown" type that'd I'd like it to be!

It's so simple, easily analyzed and identified, EXTREMELY hard to rectify! Here's kind of how it works, for me anyway...

If the trigger was by/from a "good" thing, during a time that I'm focused on "good" things than it's beautiful!

All auxiliary things don't suffer quite as much, I'm productive, and life goes on...I lose the extra 3-5 years off of my life from the lack of sleep and ridiculous amount of smoking and life goes on...Hopefully some good things got created, developed, cleaned, and/or cared for during that 3-14 day span!

If the trigger was by/from a "negative/toxic" thing, heaven help us all, but especially ME!

It can last months, I end up looking strung out, loosing 10 pounds, barking at MOST anyone that tries to talk to me, IF/WHEN I actually go outside for maybe 30 minutes here and there. STUCK AND TERRIFIED! Sound familiar?

...but not of you/people, not of the outside, not of the literal almost Kryptonian overstimulation I experience, no...I'm most afraid of myself!

(Accountability, singular possessive, own it!)

[So, from the start of various negative/toxic oriented manic phases there's also a PTSD factor. It's a guarantee that I was also partially something to do with my PTSD.  Like some loud female who not only is neurotic and self-absorbed as F**K but thinks that loud=strong. She invades my life with her loud, belligerent speaking about whatever the fuck she has going on, usually bitching, or in a bitchy tone, BOOM! Done. Loud bitchy female, nope! A couple fighting, NOPE! Same b!+ch screaming at her kids, NOPE! Triggered and time to put her in her place with crazy passive aggressive behavior! Since I can't/am not supposed to put my hands on people...(that's probably more PTSD, than mania).

Some a$$hole, male OR female, feels the need to push up on me and put their s#!t on the counter while I'm still standing there during my unfinished turn. Okay, whatever you pushy selfish f**k, but now back up 2 feet. No, this pushy, selfish, rushy stranger has to literally be close enough to sniff my ass like a f**king dog! Which is when I'll actually (HAVE TO) verbally express, usually, "Okay, now back back-up 2 feet so that I may have 1 feet of space, since you're sanding about 6" into MY center of gravity...Mind literally getting your handsy entitled brat out of my ass too?!"

Or, or it's some hood rat, I ask SUPER politely to give me a little space, and THEY respond with something like,

"You might be a big tough looking motherf**ker, but I can shoot, and size don't matter 'cept when you fallin' down!"

IN RESPONSE TO ME POLITELY ASKING THEM TO GIVE ME A (reasonable) FOOT OF SPACE!

THEN, because I'm not the coward people presume/project, we get into it! I was trying to be nice and asked politely now I'm telling you to back the f**k up and if you subliminally threaten me again, I'll knock your ass out before your hands make a move and then I'll physically detain you until the police arrive.

And then, when they take me too for false imprisonment, I'll beat your ass bloody in jail! All because I politely asked you to back up, and your gangbangin' wannabe ass had to act tough and threaten to kill me and my whole family. Now, you're eating through a straw and stuck in solitary because each time I hear you're talking revenge s#!t I rebreak your jaw and dominant hand! Along with a hearty ear clap to slowly work on your hearing abilities, back. the. f**k. up. (Yeah, I think that's more PTSD than mania)

It's the same types of reasons I sit in the back of any place against a wall, I don't take the same routes anywhere, IF I even leave the fortress! If you're in stabbing distance you're too close, if I can feel the breath of your nostrils on my asshole you're too f**king close!

(And) It should go without saying that the existence of one does not detract from the severity of another; no, in fact they compound and/or affect each other regardless of the proponent of the trigger.]

It's all a soup sandwich!

Up for days, stuck in go mode, only focusing on the negative, everything's going to shit, and you're one wrong interaction away from going to prison for life or being shot! AND, once more...You don't even get the pleasure, like the other fools, of being drunk or on drugs...but sure if the self-perceived upper-echelon of society assumes so. Then as the lack of sleep becomes chronic you get even more new and exciting mental AND PHYSICAL health challenges to tackle!

Mania is an ugly thing...I don't care what you're T.V. and "cool" BAD INFLUENCES think/portray. If I'M lucky, I can squeeze a book, album, or something else 1/2 way decent out of manic spell...others aren't so lucky...but others also aren't as manic as opposed to exhibiting grotesque displays of what they think are symptoms to get attention and/or be like their troubled idols. FOR REAL!

It's all subjective, relative, interpretive, etc...but if you ask me, a medicated maniac! Mania looks like this:

An ugly tweaker tweakin'!
(Even if pretty the behavior typically presents an ugly front.)

Mania affects so much more than just the maniac/afflicted. I'm not going to spend 1/2 hour making you read an obvious list of the many things a human can have in or around their life...but it's obviously ALL affected.

And not just the standard obvious things like kids, work, love, etc...but stuff you might not think about. Public reputation, family dynamics, credit, if you're "nuts" it can get "nuts"...

Especially if you're tethered to the wrong mate! One extended stay in hyperactive, self-absorbed, hypervigilance and your mate could grow to resent you so fast that he/she will covertly plan the literal downfall of your entire life. Manipulating your children and own family's narrative of you, creating frivolous courts cases, aiming at entrapment often, just psycho B!+CH s#!t!!!

Similar to the reaction I get when asking some asshole to get their and/or their brats' nose out of my ass in a store line..."I'll kill ur whole family foo'!"

"Okay idiot...as long as you back up 2 feet!"

It's not just the obvious...If you decide to have people in your life that can quickly change if you don't get your mania in order, or, the people around you can change, which may be even worse!

Again, we're not talking about the obvious here...The obvious including, but not being limited to seeking professional help, mood stabilizers/chemical interventions, and more. We're talking about the things that even an "agoraphobic-shut-in" can implement!

I apologize, but it's common-sense s#!t! Like, duh...No matter your phase of life, amount & variations of individuals, afflictions, whatever!

You MUST:

1. Follow a specific, strict routine! As accommodating as you need it to be.
2. Incorporate and MAINTAIN Physical Fitness & Hygiene into DAILY routine!
3. Incorporate a "WORK" AND "CHORES" function into your DAILY routine! As accommodating as you need it to be.
4. Get a f**king hobby!
5. DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL/DO DRUGS...LIKE DUH!
6. If you're going to smoke (weed), smoke every day, not now and then!

The point is to STABILIZE!!! Stop fucking with your chemicals, your body chemistry, your circadian rhythm, REGULATE YOURSELF! PARTY'S OVER!

[I know...Easier said than done boy scout...right?]

In terms of BPD, mania is not quite one side of a constantly flipping coin. It's more like one side of a barbed tri-dice you have to constantly air-roll. (prick, prick, prick...) Where you think okay, tri=3 yeah, so up, down, and mixed yeah? ...but there's that lovely surprise 4th (meal) side of the dice looking to make a snack of you!

You must mitigate, regulate, and perpetuate! You must give a s#!t; you must quit the s#!t!

(And) You MUST medicate/seek professional help if/when necessary!

[Other than that WTF can we do?!]

Let's continue this discussion on the COMMUNITY PAGE, because social media is a toxic cesspool, where here is HIGHLY regulated! Come back next month as we continue the series on BPD and take a look at Depression...([flat horn] Wahn-Wahhh)